Losowe angielskie dowcipy

Full House! ->

Little Johnny has a question, so he goes around the house to find his father. He opens his dad's bedroom door and finds his mom and dad humping away on the bed! "Dad!" says Johnny, "What are you doing!" Johhny's father stops humping for a secon... [cały ->]

Your Momma ->

Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.... [cały ->]

Man slamming list of lists! ->

How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner. Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have testicles. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. Why don't men eat mo... [cały ->]

The farmer's wife ->

So one night, the farmer gets drunk. He grabs his wife's tits and says, "If these could give milk, we could get rid of the cows." He grabs her butt and says, "If this could give eggs, we could get rid of the chickens." The wife grabs the farmer... [cały ->]

The Drunk and the Nun ->

There was a guy in a bar one night that got really drunk, I mean really ,really, really drunk. When the bar closed he got up to go home. As he stumbled out the door, he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk. So he stumbled over to the nun and punched ... [cały ->]

Hypothetical Question ->

A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?" The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ... [cały ->]

The Facts of Life ->

THE FACTS OF LIFE The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Money can't buy happiness...But it sure makes misery easier to live with. Nothing in the known uni... [cały ->]

I'd Love To But... ->

Next time you're invited to a boring social event, try one of these excuses to why you can't attend: I'D LOVE TO BUT... ... I don't want to leave my comfort zone. ... I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary. ... I have to a... [cały ->]

Put-Downs ->

Roses are red, violets are blue, I once thought I was ugly, until I saw you! Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one! Baptists: only trouble is, they don't hold them under long enough. A man's got to do what a man's g... [cały ->]

Yo' Mama Jokes ->

Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to fit into a pair of 'BVD's and by the time she got it on, it spelled 'BOULEVARD'. Yo' Mama is so ugly, she went to the beauty parlor and it took her three hours just to get an estimate. Yo' Mama is so old, she we... [cały ->]

I'm glad I'm a man ->

I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe. I don't live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese. I don't bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts. I can get where I want to - north, south, east or west. I don't get wasted after onl... [cały ->]

Research results are in! ->

The following information was gained through much arduous research involving men and women from all backgrounds and walks of life. It consists of the most frequently asked questions of women (i.e. relationships, sex and life in general). All women wh... [cały ->]

Technological Doctor ->

One day, a man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a samp... [cały ->]

Like Bowling Ball ->

Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common? A: Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.... [cały ->]

FROG ->

What did one Lesbian frog say to the other Lesbian frog? You know what...we DO taste like chicken!... [cały ->]